The Women of Selling Sunset Tried Infrared Cardio. I Didn’t. I’ve Just Been Here, at My Desk.

We all remember when (someone) on (some reality show) tried a weird new fitness routine, which we definitely had an opinion about... and then later, we refreshed our knowledge about said fitness demonstration by reading about it on a cool LA lifestyle website. That's the kind of plugged-in, pop-culture-savvy, hot-girl vibe we live on-the-daily as academics (do people say that?).

This post is not like that for five main reasons:

1. I always thought sunsets were incommensurable with economic value, as commonly perceived as intrinsically valuable. Therefore, the notion of Selling Sunset invoked by the show's title tile on my Netflix screen sent me down a five-day Max Weber - Aristotle - Kant - spiral, after which I had forgotten about the TV show (do people still call it TV?).

2. Because I have never seen "Selling Sunset," I was unable to learn about its women and their cardio experiments.

3. While hotter, cooler girls at hotter, cooler blogs were breathing to red hot lights (I assume), I was not doing that. I was just here, at my desk, writing a paper. Due to this self-imposed limitation, I was unable to engage in any actions related to acquiring access to an "infrared cardio," or figuring out what that was. I was able to create a tautological argument on my fake lifestyle website, though.

4. I haven't been able to get into this Dad shoe trend because I'm afraid that people will just think I've had them since the 90s. However, on-trend shoes seem like a pre-requisite for hot girls who want to sweat to the latest novel deployments of the light spectrum.

5. Speaking of Dads (and Dads who wear OG Dad-shoes, nonetheless) - The last time I went home for the holidays, my father was experimenting with infrared lights for a medical device prototype, and it looked like more fun to stare, as if to meditate, at the lines moving on an oscilloscope, than to jump around in these lights' proximity (I still don't know what infrared cardio is).

Stay tuned for my next post: I Tried the Staring at an Oscilloscope as it Measures Infrared Light Timing - Meditation Technique and it Calmed my Vagus Nerve like Nobody's Business.

..And I know, Because a Separate Team of Researchers was Measuring My Vagus Nerve the Whole Time I was Home for Christmas.

and it's sequel:

My Vagus Nerve Loves My Childhood Bed, Maybe Because it's Pre-Tenure-Track.

and it's other sequel:

I've Started a Vagus Nerve Stimulation Business Based on Staring at Electrical Test Equipment. It's a subscription service, and you can get either the digital package (a video call link), or the physical package, where can go you into a retired electrical engineer's basement.

and that one's sequel:

I Recommend the Physical Package of Staring at Electrical Test Equipment for Vagus Nerve Stimulation Because Retired Engineers are Kind of Like Emotional Support Animals - They Don't Talk, but They Have a Calming Presence.